Without a sense of the past there is no memory, no conscience, no responsibility.

–Jan Assmann

I have a hard time saying anything most days. As I read and study, I gain knowledge. As I gain knowledge, I absorb the memories of those, great and small, who have gone before me. As I remember, I become aware. As I become aware, I become responsible. But on most days, I don’t care for that responsibility. It is a responsibility that I thought I wanted, but I’m not so sure anymore.

I thought that if I were to study Christianity’s history I would be able to make some sense of the mess. That if I were to gain that knowledge, I would have wise words to say. That if I had wise words to say, people would listen. That if people would listen, things would change. But as I study history, I find it hard to say anything that hasn’t already been said. Anything that hasn’t already been ignored. Anything that hasn’t already been exploited to promulgate idiosyncratic, ethnocentric, or schismatic ideas.

This is, I suppose, only a bit of a teaser. There is, obviously, much more to unpack here. But it will have to come another day. Thoughts (encouragements) are welcome. I’ll do my best to respond, as this will no doubt (that is if there are any readers) draw some response. I understand that this comes across as a macabre pessimism. But buried deep in here is a certain hope and a hopeful certainty.

- brandon

Confession.

Jake: I apologize for failing you, thus far, in this venture. We had an agreement and I failed to keep up my end of the bargain.

Reader: I apologize for failing you, thus far, in this venture. I made promises to “let you in,” so to speak, into my thoughts and experiences; and I have failed to follow through.

Repentance.

I would like, if you would let me and if you would join me, to begin afresh. In a symbolic display, I have deleted my original post. Besides, that series wasn’t going anywhere. Though I had plenty of thoughts on the topic, to address it now, at this time, would be to cheapen it.

I plan to write out, soon, some thoughts on my graduate studies of Christian history. In the meantime, I would check out Jake’s thoughts on NYWC ‘07. He’s had some good conversations going on over at JB.com (marko, president of Youth Specialties, has even joined the fun).

peace.

-brandon